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Operator Log

Answering operator calls can be very random, and it can be annoying, but also very fulfilling. Logging those calls is sometimes not what operators are good at, but here are some.

  • 2024-02-22 What is Futel? You’re talking into a Futel phone right now. Yeah, but what does it mean? Why don’t you use the phone to find out?
  • 2024-03-25 Caller reported that the Ghost Mountain handset was busted, for which I thanked them.
  • 2024-04-21 Caller was a young person. I think they thought I was a robot? They just said “play Taylor Swift” over and over. I told them my name is not Alexa, and that I am a human being. But they only wanted to hear Taylor Swift, so I asked them to teach me a song and I would sing it. They sang me a few bars of Look What You Made Me Do, and I tried to sing it back but they weren’t satisfied. So I told them they should sing it and I would beatbox. “Okay,” they said, “but are you going to interrupt in the middle?” I promised them I would beatbox through the entire song, and I did. We sang the whole thing together on the phone. I told them they made my day, and they should call the Futel operator any time they need someone to beatbox for them.
  • 2024-04-27 Caller wanted to know why the 8 and 9 buttons don’t do anything. Verified that the phone buttons themselves are working. there’s just no menu options for 8 or 9 I guess? Thanks for trying all the buttons tho!
  • 2024-04-27 Caller reported issues with the Ghost Mountain and Microcosm phones. I commiserated about how long the Microcosm phone had been down and explained that the lock was jammed and I had to break in. Caller thanked me for providing the phones and told me they haven’t been able to afford their own phone.
  • 2024-05-07 Caller asked for the number of a specific emergency room, they lost their insurance ID number and this was the last place it had been used.
  • 2024-05-09 What is this? Do you need an operator? What is an operator? I am an operator.
  • 2024-05-28 The connection is clicking on & off in a funky rhythm! Caller didn’t seem to notice it on their end. Tried to find a number for caller’s friend, but google didn’t have it.
  • 2024-05-21 Caller recited a stupid joke which did not amuse me.
  • 2024-06-18 Caller needed to know how to make a call.
  • 2024-06-18 Caller asked how to make a call, I told them. Caller had been doing that but “every time I try I get some kinda weird prayer line”.
  • 2024-07-14 I’m at a baseball game, you will have to speak up. I just wanted to say you guys were awesome and thank you. You’re welcome.
  • 2024-08-08 Caller asked for the number for the Rose Haven shelter.
  • 2024-08-11 Caller said they were a pay phone collector from Milwaukie, OR and were interested in helping out with Futel and maintaining phones. Operator took their name and contact information.
  • 2024-09-09 Caller asked how to make a call to a friend.
  • 2024-09-17 Caller told me that people being called had trouble hearing them and that calls were being cut off after around 30 seconds.
  • 2024-09-24 Caller asked what year it was. I told them 3000 B.C.
  • 2024-10-12 Hello, the microphone is broken and I don’t think I can hear you, it will be fixed.
  • 2024-10-14 Hi, is this Futel? Yes. What’s the point? You will have to figure that out, good luck.
  • 2024-10-30 I told caller if they could hear the Operator’s voice they should say “Bag O’ Crab” into the mouthpiece. Caller hung up.
  • 2024-11-07 Caller asked for the number of a drop-in mental health clinic. The clinic only had a web form for contact, no phone information. Caller asked for the number for Call To Safety, which I provided.
  • 2024-11-23 Another Futel Operator, testing the repair of a smashed handset. Victory declared, pleasantries exchanged.
  • 2024-11-23 Silence, but did not hang up. Malfunction? I asked them to try their call again.
  • 2024-11-23 Explained the dial-1-for-outside-line thing to a grateful caller.
  • 2024-11-26 Caller is loud and wasted. Asks: do I have any tits? Do I have any dicks? Do I have any tits and dicks? Sorry buddy, the Futel Operator has no tits or dicks for you at this time.
  • 2024-11-30 FYI: i answered an operator, pressed 1 to accept, but then heard the main Futel payphone menu. I dialed 1 for an outside line & got a dialtone. From there i tried 503-HOT-1337 but got a busy signal. So dunno whats up with that, but maybe some misconfiguration.
  • 2024-12-02 Caller asked for the police non emergency number. Electrical installation across town is causing heart problems for people.
  • 2024-12-02 You say you would like to make a call, but you’re not sure what number to press?
  • 2024-12-07 Caller needed to report a natural gas outage to DTE (Detroit something Energy). Found the number.
  • 2024-12-10 We are sorry. An application error has occurred. Goodbye.
  • 2024-12-21 Caller asked how to make a call to their mom without charging it. I told them to hang up and dial at the dialtone. Caller said that their mom wouldn’t want to accept a collect call. I explained that it was free. Caller said “thank you operator” very sincerely.
  • 2024-12-21 Caller reported that the Ghost Mountain phone was broken. I told them about the hassles I was going through and that I was having a hard time getting my shit together to fix it.