Druids of Sisyphus Log

2023! The Druids find themselves in a time bubble in the woods, still taking calls on their landline, from Callers still wondering what the Druids do. It never gets old.

• 3/3 Caller wanted to know if the Druids work in an office. (No.) Caller asked if the Druids take turns fielding calls. (Yes.) Caller asked if we know a lot about Futel. (Yes!) Caller asked when Futel started. (Uhh… I forget.)

• 3/4 Known entity to us left a message. Caller spoke of liking trees and joked how we should have never let Futel put us on the menu. (This entity is a longtime caller, calling every time they rode by a node before we kept a logbook. Somehow we are never around. This time we missed them by minutes.)

• 3/25 Voicemail bestowing blessings on thee.

• 4/4 Caller asked if they could tell the Druid a secret. Since there were people around, they asked to call back later.

• 4/6 Same caller told me their secret. (I believe they believe their secret and wish them the best.)

• 4/21 Druids were invited to a housewarming party.

• 5/21 Caller told us the Dream Survey was no longer an option and had no way to divulge their dreams. They didn’t tell the Druid their dreams.

• 5/22 This Caller asked our top “Frequently Asked Question”: What do the Druids do? The best way to find out is to call a Druid! Caller rode bikes with friends across Detroit to use the phone.

• 5/23 Baby caller talked about their new friends in kindergarten.

• 5/24 Non-stop talking about Portland, weather, thieves, and other topics.

• 5/26 Caller asked who was this, and then said a bunch of expletives.

• 5/30 Caller wanted to ask a Druid about what to have for breakfast. Druid suggested a salad with all the fixings.

• 7/7 Religious Caller asking about the Druid’s Druidic religion. Caller was told it’s mostly a joke.

• 7/8 Caller was surprised that there was a real Druid answering the line.

• August Received a voicemail from someone trying to apply for a job for Multnomah Arts. They talked about a lovely chicken they were watching and said that their cell phone sometimes works.

• 8/6 Caller said that they were a Druid-in-training and were looking for Druidic duties.

• 8/10 Caller was curious about the Druid. Talked about art and Portland.

• 8/26 Caller was looking for advice on too many unfinished projects. Caller was told to do the projects that they like.

• 8/27 Caller was walking home with a friend very late night. Caller was also a Druid and happy to meet other Druids.

• 9/8 Caller talked about rattlesnakes, conspiracy theories, hot springs, back-to-the-land, capitalism, and their old friend who moved to Denver, or maybe Texas. Caller doesn’t like the term “Hello” and only greets with “Heaven-o”.

• 11/16 For some inexplicable reason, Druid answered the phone with a jaunty “‘Allo!”. Caller replied with what sounded like a real British accent asking what the Druid does. The Druid promptly dropped their awful British accent and talked about Detroit, the weather, and good times.

• 11/19 Caller asked what a Druid is. Caller was told they were talking to one. Caller asked for further information on Druids, which was provided. When asked if they needed anything else, Caller hung up.