Druids of Sisyphus Log

12 Mar 2026

2025 was a weird year for the Druids of Sisyphus, and probably not just for us. We seemed to answer fewer calls than in previous years. The clear air of a relatively mild wildfire season had kept us outside away from the ring-a-ding. Or maybe the Druids being on the menu for over 10 years has solved the curiosity for callers trying to find out who or why we are.

We do have lots of blessings and sweet messages on our answering machine from complete strangers, mixed in with an occasional prank and random rant. Most of whom we would have enjoyed talking to, some we are glad to have missed.

Thank you for all your random calls. Maybe it’s you who are providing a service to us - except those 3 AM calls when we sleep in the phone answering booth.

January 26 The caller’s microphone wasn’t great. They asked if we were the Druids of Sisyphus, if we were in Washington, and if they could visit. We gave them vague directions to our pocket dimension. They were new to Futel and its services. We explained the services we provide to the denizens of the forest, by building habitat and maintaining trails. They asked what services we can provide them, and why are we are on the menu. Told them that we have been on the menu since before the beginning, and after the end of time. Continued talking for a while and wished each other goodnight.
March 15 Caller asked for services, told them we are just simple Druids in the woods. They thought it was cool, like something from the Twilight Zone.
May 31 A “hello!” was really loud and clear, then cut out. I talked about the bad connection for a second, heard another part of a word clearly, so kept talking until the phone clicked off.
June 1 Seattle caller was looking for guidance. Sadly they had to leave a message, and guide themselves.
June 9 A friend called because they were walking in their neighborhood, and remembered we were on the Futel menu. We planned a future meet-up.
June 10 Teenaged caller trying to call their mother. Gave them some info on how to use Futel. They told me about a youtube video about someone taking a wrong call that was really funny. Not funny for me, but for them. I haven’t seen it nor did they explain why it was so funny.
July 2 Slam poetry from an alien cosmic being without acknowledging me, or thinking I was bot.

Everything?

I’m inside of forever

I don’t like to talk long

I didn’t believe it till I said it
July 6 Caller, who was a friend that just visited, and before that was the caller on the bad connection from August 23 last year (see Party Line #10). Left a message for us letting us know they were happy to have visited and missed us already.
July 17 Excited Spanish speakers! Asked my name? Gave them my name! Asked them their name? Lost connection.
July 24 Caller excited to finally get a druid on the druid hotline. They asked us to provide a blessing or a mantra. I gave them a mashed up blessing, and they were another satisfied caller. May the Oak Father Bless you and keep you.
July 28 Caller left a message expressing great interest in our druidic activities, left a number or two for us to call and explain ourselves. We have two different phone numbers in our notes anyway. I don’t think we even tried calling them back.
August 1 A common experience is the caller believes they will get some sort of automated druid-like robot, but sometimes druid-like humanoids are available for awkward conversations.
August 4 Caller trying out the menu chose the druids as possibly the most interesting. They had a few questions that we answered. Another theme that comes up a lot is how awesome Futel is, and agreeing about it being our favorite interactive art project.
August 18 Caller said it was hot in Portland and wanted to know how the forest was doing. I lied and said the forest was doing good, even though I could hear the logging equipment clear-cutting the burnt-up hillside across the creek from us.
August 28 02:30 AM. Answered “Hello?” Caller asked who they were speaking to. Answered “The druid.” Asked if we were open? Answered “no.” Asked what our hours were? Answered “Um, 10 to 5.” Caller thanked the druid. Said “Yeah, call anytime.”
December 19 Caller left message. Starts with, “Hello!” then continues maybe in Spanish for a bit, then continues, “I wanna say wait, wait, wait… it’s like 9/11 boom! it’s going down! They got so much shit! They got diamonds, gold, drugs, coke, anything, opium, whoop, whoop.” Starts what sounds like banging the phone against something like a gavel at an auction. A person in the background yells, “Hey you are going to break that phone!” The caller acted badly toward them, then continued to auction off other various drugs and metals before saying either OK bye, or OK buy.