2019 Operator Log Excerpts

10 Mar 2020

Seven operators logged over 40 operator calls in 2019, and, as always, there have been moments of passion, confusion, levity, urgency, banality, and sorrow. Here is a sample of logged calls, with some sensitive and many less interesting examples removed.

2019-01-07 Caller asked if the phone could be used for long distance calls, I replied that it could.
2019-01-15 Caller told me they were inquiring about calling in North America with a Canadian calling card and “looking for knowledge on this.” I began to tell them they should be able to call for free, and was interrupted with “Thank you for your wisdom” and a hangup.
2019-01-27 Caller wanted the number of a laundromat.
2019-01-28 Caller wanted locations for Futel phones in NE Portland.
2019-02-01 Caller wanted to make a collect call, I told them how to call for free.
2019-02-02 Caller asked “if this was a real payphone”. I replied yes and disconnected.
2019-02-20 Buzzing noise.
2019-03-18 Caller requested the number of an individual, which I was unable to provide.
2019-03-18 Caller was eventally able to request the number of a food stamp office near them, which I provided.
2019-03-19 Caller asked if this was the operator, I replied that it was. Caller asked if this was a REAL operator, I replied that it was and hung up.
2019-04-01 Caller asked if I could hear them, I responded that I could. Caller said several more things and hung up, but I couldn’t understand them, possibly because of issues with the line. I called back but there was no answer.
2019-04-09 Caller may have been advising me that the microphone was distorted, and that the PAZ phone was experiencing call issues, but their voice was too distorted for me to understand.
2019-04-20 Call was all noise. I could not make out a voice at all. Lasted 32 seconds before I was disconnected.
2019-05-26 I heard nothing and advised the caller that I could not hear anything. Caller asked “how’s it going?” I responded that it was going great and hung up.
2019-06-21 Caller asked for the number of an antique store.
2019-6-23 Said “hello” 3 times with no response. Called back and they asked how to call their father. I said hang up and press one. They said thanks.
2019-07-05 ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ played. It was nice.
2019-07-21 Caller asked for food in walking distance cuz they are sick of looking at their phone and would rather talk to a human. I gave them a few choices and they didn’t like them but said it was nice chatting.
2019-07-28 Caller asked if they could speak to my managerator. I asked my operator assistant if they could tell me what it was and hold him that the managerator operates the insinkerator. I asked him if they’d be ok being the managerator of my insinkerator and they said they’d accept the title gladly and said thank you, goodbye.
2019-07-28 Caller asked for some music recommendations cuz they were sick of the same ol stuff. I recommended the Slits. Conditioner. Wipers. Screamers. They then asked advice on how to stop watching too much tv. I told him to pretend to sit next to himself and watch himself as much as possible. They said that was the best idea yet and thanked me before they hung up.
2019-08-10 Caller asked if I’d ever walked in slo-motion out side. I said “nope” and they said they recommended it and I responded “ok” and then they said have a good day and I hung up.
2019-08-27 Caller told me their name and that they wanted to let me know that they were going to Seattle to work on a project with another individual, but that they thought I already knew that.
2019-09-02 Caller hung up after my daughter answered.
2019-09-13 Caller asked me if I was sleeping, I replied that I was still asleep. Caller asked me to draw a Tarot card, I told them that they drew the 9 of disks and hung up.
2019-09-22 Caller asked how many Futel phones there were in Portland. I told them. “That is so awesome.”
2019-10-06 Caller wanted the number for Uber customer service to make an accident report. I replied that I predicted that I would not be able to help, and was not able to find anything useful, but recommended that they call the police if there was an injury or property damage.
2019-10-08 Caller asked for the number of a personal injury laywer. We picked one out together from Yelp reviews.
2019-10-22 Caller asked how to make a call to a non-503 area code. I told them to hang up and dial 1 for a dial tone.
2019-10-25 Caller asked how my night was going. I replied that it was going well, thank you, and hung up.
2019-11-15 Caller asked whether the concentration camp directory entry was real, this is an arti project, right? I told them it was.
2019-11-20 Caller told me they were just calling because they thought the Futel phone was really cool. I thanked them and hung up.
2019-12-25 I introduced myself as “Operator.” Caller asked, “Who is this?” I replied, “Operator” and disconnected.